Poking myself.

While in the hospital, I was told that my release was dependent on one thing, learning to give myself shots.  I've always been a bit squeamish of needles, even now, I still can't watch them go into skin, unless it's my own.  Knowing your life is dependent on it kind of changes things a bit.
Learning to inject yourself with insulin takes some attention to detail, but after doing it for 16 years, it's become a second nature, so when trying to teach someone else, like my husband how to do it, I find myself frustrated if he doesn't get it right away, now I know how the doctor and nurses felt.

First, depending on the type of insulin you have, you may have to roll the bottle in between your hands, especially if it's a mix. (At the time, I was on Humilin 50/50, guess what kind of mix that is :P)

Next, you have to pull back an equal amount of air as the dosage of insulin you need to take into the syringe and put the air into the insulin bottle (trust me, this is imperative when you get down to the bottom of the bottle and the thing is so devoid of air that rather than allowing you to take insulin out, it becomes a vacuum).  After you get the air in, you can pull out the correct dosage and be ready to inject.

Here's the fun part: Since you have a finite dosage needed, you can't really practice on yourself.  You know what they give you to practice on?  An orange, because that resembles human skin and tissue.  I'm sure they've come up with something better in years following my diagnosis, but at the time, I got to jab a citrus fruit with a 30 gauge needle.

One of the things I remember because of how badly it frightened me, was what I liked to call "Diabetic scare tactics".  I remember the threat, that if I didn't take care of my diabetes, my foot, or leg would have to be cut off, or I'd go blind, or I'd need a new kidney.  Yes, I know, these are real threats, but as a child who just found out they're going to have to poke themselves with a needle and squeeze blood out of their fingers several times a day for the rest of their lives, I think you've got enough to deal with.
I don't think it's something they should hide from you, but the emphasis was just too much.  I remember if I wanted something with more than a normal amount of sugar in it, or if I forgot to test, that was the threat "Do you want to lose your leg/foot/go blind?"

Diabetics are human too.  I've learned even after 16 years, you're still going to have troubles with your blood sugar.  I have days where I try my damnedest to stay under control and nothing works.  It's not always my fault.  There are countless things that affect your blood sugar aside from, well, sugar.  Even the slightest amount of stress can throw you up above your normal range, I'm definitely living proof, just the other day I was upset, I tested and sure enough, I was above 200.

Another common misconception I'd like to dispel, and will bring up again as it is one of the main points I'd like to get across in this blog.  We CAN eat sugar.  We can have candy bars, cake, cookies and in some cases, even regular soda (16 years on diet coke has caused an aversion to this last one for me anyhow).
This doesn't mean you're a new diabetic and you can still go out and get that twix bar on your break.  What this means is that as part of a balanced diet, one we should actually all follow, not just diabetics, sugar can be integrated.  Back when I first started, I was actually put on a weight watchers diet.  At 80 lbs on a 5 foot frame, would seem a surprise and I'm not advocating weight watchers, but it was a diet incorporating all 5 food groups at moderate amounts.  That's really all it takes, moderation.